Report: Apostles Probably Smelled Pretty Nasty

According to a report by historians at the University of Dallas Tuesday, all twelve of the apostles most likely smelled “pretty darn nasty.”

The report states that, though it is not intended to insult the disciples of Jesus, fact remains that they most definitely stank like holy hell, and that, had not everyone else at the time also reeked, no one would have come within two miles of them to hear the Good News of Jesus Christ.

The historians who conducted the report say that had the disciples been around today, they would never have been able to gather the large crowds that they did later on in their ministries.

“Not in a million years,” lead historian Beverly Whitman told EOTT. “These were men who lived on the road during most of their ministries. And even when they did stay at someone’s home, it would most likely be at the home of someone who smelled as bad, if not worse, than they did. You could only imagine how nasty it would have been to be around them for even a few seconds. Not trying to be offensive, I hope you understand. Just stating facts. It’s just lucky for us, or God’s will, that the Lord came when and where he did. A lot of people ask that question. Why then? Well, I think we at least have part of the answer now.”

At press time, the report has concluded that their feet most definitely did not stink. At least for an few hours or so.