Millions Around The World Shocked To Learn They’ve Been Mourning The Destruction Of A Catholic Cathedral

Telling news reporters that they were in “utter disbelief” that they’ve been mourning the destruction of what they mistakenly believed was nothing more than a “museum of sorts,” people from around the world announced today that they were devastated to learn that Notre Dame is actually a Catholic cathedral.

“The Catholic Church stands for everything that is wrong with religion,” said witness Darin Gruber, saying that he would have been rejoicing, as opposed to mourning, had he known that it was actually a Catholic church that burning to the ground.  “So many wasted tears. I guess I can’t feel completely bad that I wasted so much time watching reports of the fire and hoping they put it out as quickly as possible. There are many secular treasures in the cathedral that needed saving.”

“Seriously, though, they could’ve made it a little more clear that it was a cathedral,” said a frustrated Deborah Sterling, who watched the Notre Dame burn on CNN. “Yes, I saw images of crosses and other Christian imagery, but you see that all over Europe. I just thought Notre Dame was like the Louvre or something, which was why it was so horrifying to watch. I didn’t know that people actually go there to pray.”

At press time, Sterling has been comforted after learning that no one has actually prayed at Notre Dame or in France in decades.