Idiot Middle Schooler Asks If She Can Pray For The Devil

After having been asked for the ninth consecutive week whether the devil could one day go to heaven “if he said sorry and acted good from now on,” local middle school teacher Janice Shiffman acknowledged Monday that she has clearly underestimated just how dumb some student questions can be at times.

“The middler schooler in question constantly asks questions like whether she can pray for the devil, even though I’ve told her time and time again that it doesn’t work that way,” Shiffman told EOTT, who has gone so far as to have priests come to her classroom to answer the same “exhausting” questions.

“I feel terrible thinking like this because she really is a sweet girl and she says she wants to be a nun someday, but for goodness sake, leave it alone already. I don’t know how many times I have to tell her that he’s not getting out no matter how sorry he is, and that he’s going to suffer in hell for all of eternity, so there’s absolutely no point praying for the devil. I gently try telling her to focus her prayers on people that really need it, like that devil of a brother of hers. Sure he’s only two, but you can tell by that age which ones are gonna be real brats.”

At press time, Shiffman has realized that the middle schooler in question has actually been asking whether or not she could pray to the devil.