Local Man Pretty Confident He Just Scored A Relic Of St. Michael the Archangel

Gazing in compete awe and wonder, local Catholic Herbert Shepherd was reportedly astonished Tuesday after finding what he believed to be a first class relic of St. Michael the Archangel while sitting on a park bench.

“I was sitting, eating my lunch and minding my own business when, what should fall from the sky and land beside me—a white feather.” Shepherd told EOTT, adding that he remembered a flock of birds flying above him as he dropped to his knees and reverently picked of the relic of the “leader of the Army of God and of heaven’s forces in their triumph over the powers of hell.”

“I recently heard of someone who found a relic of Teresa of Avila in a used bookstore and I was like, wow, the luck! But here I am now with a relic of St. Michael. I just don’t understand how someone can be so careless. I guess we should all just be happy and feel lucky that it landed in the hands of a practicing catholic and not some Satanist.”

At press time, Shepherd is amazed at how the similar the feather of an angel is to one of a white pigeon.