Vacationing Catholic Family Excited To See What Liturgical Abuses Practiced In Visiting Parish

Returning to his hometown with his family for the first time in over five years, Catholic family man Alex Trumble voiced his desire Saturday afternoon to trying out a new parish where he and his family could “get a taste of the local liturgical abuses practiced this side of the country.”

“We’ve been to Folk Masses and Clown Masses back home, but I hear they have an interesting Buddhist themed Mass over here,” Trumble said of the rumors he has read online. “That’s an abuse I think my family will never forget. And I guess that’s the point. I’m trying to give my family a vacation they’ll never forget.”

“The Church is fashioned like a Buddhist temple on the inside and everyone kneels and hums while Mass is said. Sounds like it’ll be unforgettable.”

Trumble went on to say that he knows how important having memorable vacations are, remembering the time when he was a child in the 60’s and experiencing his first Novus Ordo.

“Oh, it wasn’t liturgical abuse or anything, but to me and my family at the time…it’s just something that never left me. I remember my father telling me that we had just witnessed our first ever Never-Will-Be-As-Good-As-A-Tridentine-Mass Mass. Ah, the memories.”