Frustrated New Priest Still Hasn’t Nailed Down Consecration

Sadly admitting he had yet to figure out how other priests “did it,” newly ordained Fr. Christian Benson told EOTT this morning that he was still struggling with “the whole consecration part.”

“I got the entrance and opening down, and I do a pretty decent job with the homily and all the rest, but the consecration, I don’t know…I just can’t grasp how to transubstantiate,” said Benson, who, at his most recent attempt at the consecration accidentally lifted the chalice as he said, “This is my body.”

“Last week I gave such a stirring homily about the reality of abortion that afterwards, there wasn’t a dry eye in the church. But then I got to the consecration, tried a few times, then just call it quits.”

Speaking to Bensen’s seminary instructor early this afternoon, Fr. Thomas Dewall told EOTT that, although Benson’s oratory skills reminded him of a slightly more captivating St. John Chrysostom, his piety rivaled that of St. John the Evangelist, and his knowledge made Thomas Aquinas sound like a mere buffoon, Bensen, for some reason, had trouble with following the instructions when it came to the consecration.

“I honestly don’t know what to say,” Dewall said. “Just the other day I looked at his hands and realized he had the stigmata. But for some reason he still can’t get down the Words of Institution. It’s like he freezes when he gets to that part.”