New Protestant “Achilles’ Heel Free Bible” Omits Matthew 16:18, Book of James

Protestant book publisher Branch Of A Branch Publishing announced today the publication of their new Achilles’ Heel Free Bible, which is said to omit Matthew 16:18 and The Book of James.

Branch Of A Branch Publishing founder and president Pastor Blake Williams told EOTT this morning that he “thought it time to relieve the stress from Protestants who stumble across awkward passages while studying the Good Word.”

“We all obviously know that Matthew 16:18 refers to Peter as a pebble, meaning that he was insignificant. We also know that when James says that we are justified by works and not by faith alone that he was just playing a joke on his listeners to make sure they were paying attention. In fact most of that book is sort of a gotcha! And even if, lets say, it wasn’t a gotcha book, Luther wasn’t a fan of the book to begin with, calling it an ‘epistle of straw.’ So instead of putting out an apologetics bible trying to explain every minute detail that might have the average Protestant in the church questioning his beliefs, we thought, ‘hey, why not just skim over the head scratchers and do what we do best…slim line!'”

Williams went on to say that they also omitted nearly the entirety of The Book of Revelation because Martin Luther “wasn’t a big fan of that book either,” and that the only passages of Revelation they did keep were those referring to the “Whore of Babylon,” which were changed to “The Roman Catholic Church.”