San Diego Bishop To Have Diocese Sprayed In Effort To Fight The Spread Of Orthodoxy

In an effort to combat what is being called a “fast-moving and highly contagious disease,” officials at the Diocese of San Diego announced today that they will begin spraying for orthodoxy this month.

Diocesan spiritual health officials will spray parts of San Diego after several individuals tested positive for orthodoxy last month.

One San Diego resident recently returned from a one week retreat at a Benedictine monastery where orthodoxy is known to be active. The individual developed symptoms before returning home.

The case was confirmed after testing at the San Diego County Public Spiritual Health Laboratory came back positive.

When diocese Orthodoxy Control inspectors visited the individual’s home, they found a breviary and books by Pope Benedict XVI nearby.

“If Benedict’s books were exposed to others living nearby, they could spread the orthodoxy,” said Janette Durante, Deputy Director of Doctrinal Laxity. “It’s very important for Catholics to inspect in and around their parishes and to toss out anything that comes even close to resembling proper catechesis.”

This Sunday, spiritual officials plan to go door-to-door leaving notifications for Catholics to inform them of where the spraying will occur.

To minimize your exposure to the “anti-ortho” spray, diocesan officials recommend staying inside, closing bibles and catechisms, and covering up crucifixes, although a standard cross without the corpse or a resurrexifix is fine to keep out.