New App Allows User To Locate Where Least Crappy Homily Going To Be Delivered In Area

The Vatican announced this morning that they have launched “CrapHom,” a new app for iPhone and Android that allows Catholics to view which local parishes will have the lamest homilies and which will have the least lame homilies.

“As everyone knows, the whole point of the homily is to instruct and uplift the faithful, but since that’s nearly impossible these days, this will at least give a user the option of not being scandalized during the homily,” a Vatican spokesman told EOTT this morning. “The point of the app is to allow parishioners the luxury of getting to hear the least crappy homily they can on any given Sunday.”

The spokesman went on to say that the app will also have five grades that users can refer to when making a decision ranging from Tolerable to Absolute Bullcrap.