Rude, Ungrateful 9-Month-Old Crying All Throughout Mass

Billings, MT–In one of the most childish and ungrateful spectacles ever witnessed in St. Margaret Parish in Billings, Montana, 9-month-old Isabella Stone cried hysterically throughout Sunday morning Mass, blatantly disregarding Christ’s sacrifice on the cross for her, sources are reporting.

Little Isabella, who has had a 9-month track-record of not appreciating anything that Christ has done for her, and who clearly does not act as one who has been redeemed by the blood of the Lamb, wept all throughout Mass like some spoiled little princess, too caught up in her own selfish desires to be fed and changed than to sit quiet and still out of respect for the Lord.

“I don’t know where we went wrong,” said Isabella’s mother as she wept beside her husband. “We knew we had screwed up with this one on the day she was baptized. All she did was cry and cry as if she didn’t care that she was becoming a Catholic. In fact, it was almost as if she didn’t want to be baptized.”

St. Margaret pastor Father Reginald Wyman told EOTT that the “ungracious little pagan” had wept as though he were exorcising a demon from her the moment the baptismal water touched her head. “I remember stepping back and thinking, ‘Is the holy water burning her skin or something?’”

Witnesses say that the insolent little beast of a child, who remarkably shows not the mark of the beast as foretold in The Book of the Revelation, reportedly wept all the way through the final blessing until she was taken outside, where she immediately stopped crying.