NASA Discovers Earth-like Planet That Could Support Maryknoll Fathers

NASA astronomers today revealed that they have discovered an Earth-like planet close to 600 light years away that might be able to sustain the Maryknoll Fathers and Brothers.

Roughly Earth-sized, the planet called Kepler-196g orbits a star from a distance scientists call the “habitable zone,” the range at which it could have liquid water for Maryknoll Fathers to survive, without them having to be on the same planet as other Catholics to do so.

“We have found that this is the optimal distance any Catholic should be from some Maryknoll Fathers and Brothers,” Jason Cleft, research scientist with the Kepler Science Team at NASA, told the EOTT. “If we could find a way to get them there, we would be looking at just the right buffer. If any of them tried to mention something about women priests, it would take 600 light years for that message of dissent to reach Earth. We also believe that if they attempted to mail us a shipment of Maryknoll Magazines, that the shipment would burn up in the atmosphere before it ever reached us. ”

The Kepler Space Telescope has already discovered close to two dozen other planets that could possibly support the Maryknoll Fathers, but those are all only 400 light years away, making them what one Church official called, “Still too close for comfort.”