Women In Love With Married Men Appeal To Pope To Make Fidelity Optional

VATICAN–A group of 26 Italian mistresses who claim to be having affairs with Catholic men have written a joint letter to Pope Francis begging him to end the Catholic Church’s ban on infidelity.

The women, who met through a Facebook campaign, wrote to the Pope requesting a meeting to put forward their case, claiming they were just “a small sample” of the many home wreckers “living in silence.”

“We love these men, they love us, and in most cases, despite all efforts to renounce it, one cannot manage to give up such a solid and beautiful bond,” they wrote. “Oh no, look what we’ve done now…we’ve dropped and chipped our chalices. What an old bunch of chalice chippers, eh? Anyhow, where were we? Oh yes…”

Debate is growing on the merits of married men abstaining from having sex with women other than their wives, which is designed to allow nothing to interfere with their sacramental union.

Turning to their own plight, the mistresses wrote that “very little is known about the devastating suffering of a mistress who is deeply in love with a man that is not hers to begin with.”

The letter went on to say that the Church ought to look at the Episcopalians as an example, saying, “Look how awesome they’re doing.”