5-Year-Old Parishioner Thinks Being Removed From Mass During Homily For Children’s Ministry A Complete Load Of Bull Crap

Beaverton, OR–Speaking to a group of children gathered in a room next to St. Margret Catholic Church in Beaverton, Oregon this Sunday, 5-year-old parishioner Jacob Kelting expressed his frustration at having to be “herded” out of church and into the Children’s Ministry Room.

Kelting reported that the idea that children should be removed from the splendor of the Mass just to color in a picture of an awkwardly smiling Jesus standing beside children and a couple sheep was completely “absurd and asinine.”

“I don’t know…maybe it’s just me,” Kelting told friends as they wrestled for the lone brown crayon on the table. “Doesn’t anyone else think it’s condescending to have to get up and walk out like cattle. It’s really embarrassing if you ask me.”

Kelting’s long time best friend Irvin Conway agreed with Kelting, telling EOTT that it was “indeed ridiculous that some adults could possibly think that children can only learn about the Mass by coloring or constructing banners with a chalice and host beneath their names.”

Conway went on to say that the practice was belittling, and suggested that, seeing as how loud and juvenile many of the adults act the moment Mass is over, that the pastor of St. Margret Catholic Church, Father John Ruben, ought to consider moving the parents out to color and to do other childish activities, and to leave the children to enjoy the loving presence of Christ in the Eucharist.