Pope Emeritus Benedict Glances At Cover Of Time Magazine Again, Discreetly Wipes Tear From Eye

VATICAN–Sources close to the Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI reported that the Holy Father has been silently obsessing over Time Magazine’s recent choice of Pope Francis as “Person of the Year.” “He got up as usual this morning,” said one source, “said his morning prayers and celebrated Mass. Then he sat down to check Yahoo News with his morning tea, like he always does. When he saw…it…he just got really quiet for a long time. Then when he noticed I was looking, he smiled at me and said, ‘good for him.’ It was weird. He said that without really opening his mouth. Like his teeth were still together as he said it.” Pope Francis is the third Bishop of Rome to be named “Person of the Year” by TIME, following Pope John XXIII and Pope John Paul II. EOTT’s source reported that Benedict then made another visit to his private chapel, where he remained for a good 20 minutes. He emerged and sighed deeply before going back to the Yahoo News site, which he reportedly read and re-read several times, at one point muttering under his breath, “Really? Molly Cyrus?” “When he finished reading all the comments and refreshing the page a couple times to make sure there weren’t any new ones, he looked for other news sites and did the same thing,” said the source. “After that he went to Amazon.com and started reading reviews of his ‘Jesus of Nazareth’ books. He seemed to feel better after that.”