Report: Jesus Spoke With Spectacular British Accent

Lansing, MI––A recently discovered DVD found in the attic of the Williams family last night has shed light on the language and accent used by the Son of God while on earth, the Lansing family is reporting this morning. After close to 2,000 years, the mystery of Jesus’ dialect and accent was answered after the Williams family’s stunning find while watching a DVD of the 1977 television miniseries of Jesus of Nazareth produced by the BBC. The 2-DVD set, which many in the Williams family believed was “lost forever” showed Jesus of Nazareth speaking in English, a shocking revelation to many who long believed he spoke Aramaic. “We simply couldn’t believe our ears,” Jan Williams, 54, reported to EOTT this morning. “I remember, Jesus finally appears in the movie, ready to be baptized by John the Baptist, and John says something like, ‘It is I who needs to be baptized by you, and yet, you come to me.’ Then Jesus says, ‘Let it be so…we must fulfill all righteousness’ in the most spectacular British accent.” 19-year-old Wendy Williams reported that his british accent was not only  “stirring,” but that it also contained the dramatic inflection and timing of a “wonderful” stage actor. “It was as though you were listening to the renowned British actor Robert Powell.” At press time, biblical scholars from around the globe are investigating reports that Jesus yelled a lot, and that he did not bleed as much as portrayed in The Passion of the Christ.