Pope Francis Bows To Refrigerator, Houseplant

VATICAN CITY–As head of state at the Vatican, as well as leader of the world’s 1.2 billion Catholics, Pope Frances broke protocol yet again this morning when he bowed to his houseplant moments before watering it. Francis, who has made ignoring protocol and tradition a trademark of his papacy, went on to bow to his refrigerator moments before extending his hand to open it. “This man is absolutely fascinating,” the Pope’s photographer, Roberto Salamanca, told the Italian newspaper L’Osservatore Romano earlier this afternoon. “The man breaks many, how you say, protocollo. All day today I spent photographing him, and you know how long it took him to make a cheese sandwich? 45 minutes. He bows to the refrigerator before opening it, then bows to a loaf of bread before removing it from the refrigerator. Each slice he takes out, he bows…to the toaster, bows, takes out a slice of cheese, bows. I’ve never seen such humility.” At press time, Pope Francis is stuck in a catch-22 as he considers whether bowing to the mirror before brushing his teeth, and consequently bowing to his own papal reflection, would contradict his show of humility.