SSPV Apologize After Drone Targeting Novus Ordo Mass Accidentally Dropped On Taliban

Hoboken, NJ––An SSPV drone strike has accidentally killed three and injured four other Taliban members living in the U.S. Saturday, a spokesman for the Society confirmed before expressing sorrow for the wayward bomb that was originally meant to put a stop to a Novus Ordo Vigil Mass in Hoboken, New Jersey. In a statement to the AP, founder and leader of the sedevacantist organization Bishop Clarance Kelly said that he and other members of the traditionalist sect were grieved about the innocent loss of life, and that an investigation was underway as to why the errant bomb, meant to halt “a most grievous sacrilege,” fell a block north of its target. “We are truly sorry for those affected by this unfortunate miscalculation, and our hearts and prayers are with the loved ones of those killed,” Kelly said. When asked how the Society meant to justify its killing of potentially hundreds gathered at the target of the operation, Kelly responded, saying that there are “circumstances for which pre-emptive strikes must be taken to insure the dignity of the Holy Mass, and it is a sad fact that sometimes there must be collateral damage.” “It is true that members of the Taliban are terrorists, but there is no terrorism worse than the terrorism of the Mass. Members of the Taliban and Al-Qaeda look to kill men and women. But liturgical terrorists attempt to kill something much greater than men or women.” Kelly later confirmed to Eye of the Tiber that the bomb used in the attack was meant only for the priest and five others concelebrating, and that not enough explosives were used to inflict much damage outside the Sanctuary.