“Life On The Rock” Inexplicably Picked Up For Yet Another Season

Birmingham, AL––The EWTN program Life On The Rock was inexplicably picked up for yet another season this week, baffling many of its viewers as well as network CEO Michael Warsaw. A source at the network announced this week that “for absolutely no good reason whatsoever” they have decided to pick up the show for teens and young adults for another season. “To be honest, I haven’t the faintest clue why we keep doing this to our viewers,” Warsaw said, laughing. “It started out years ago as an April Fools joke, and for some reason or other it just stuck.” Warsaw went on to say that, though the program is painful in itself, that it has had some good effects on its “Catholic Militant viewership.” “From the outset of each program the viewer is made to watch and listen to the theme song, which can be used as a means to purge the soul of sins, so we believe.” But one viewer, a former agnostic from Rochester, New York who asked to remain anonymous, told Eye of the Tiber that the program has done nothing but question his belief in all that is good and beautiful. “I just…I don’t know. Sometimes I just wonder how a good and loving God could allow something like this to happen…season after season.”