Wind Gust Nearly Blows Off Benedict’s Zucchetto, Leading Media To Speculate About More Stuff

VATICAN CITY–Media outlets around the world are buzzing with speculation this evening after viewing images showing Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI’s zucchetto nearly blowing off his head before the former pontiff entered the helicopter taking him to Castle Gondolfo. The 85-year-old former Pope was seen desperately clutching his signature white zucchetto as a gentle gust of wind pressed against him, nearly tipping the skullcap off his head, and now leading some to speculate about what really happened. “Wind has always been a symbol of the breath of God,” CNN correspondent Raymond Morales reported just hours ago. “So perhaps God was trying to send the world a message when he attempted to blow away Benedict’s zucchetto.” Morales went on to say that it was eerily similar to the day that Benedict XVI announced his resignation, and God showed his disapproval of him by using an unbalanced electric charge in the atmosphere to create a massive electrostatic lightening discharge that eventually struck the top of St. Peter’s. “That was obviously a divine condemnation of the Church’s intolerance…that we know for sure. Is this zucchetto incident a direct condemnation of Benedict himself? We’re still trying to piece that together.”